Fit for Life: Are You “Self-Aware, in Denial, or Just Don’t Care?”


Saturday, October 23, 2021


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Self-awareness is the number one step to getting better at anything. When you keep doing things just because “It’s the way we always do it” you will never grow and improve.

First, you need to recognize your problems, shortfalls, issues, and struggles. Then you need to make changes to get the desired outcome you are striving for.

For example, your health and level of fitness.


If you have been trying for years to lose the same 20#, and it keeps finding your waistline, you need to be self-aware and realize you are doing something wrong. What you are doing, and have been doing, isn’t working, so stop and seek out another solution.

Quick story: I was in Venda Ravioli on Federal Hill a few weeks ago shopping for my weekly “indulgent” meal, which consisted of homemade pasta, malaria sauce & some freshly grated cheese. I also purchased a few hand-cut ribeye steaks for the grill. (Then I went around the corner for Pastiche, but that’s another story).

While I was waiting in line, this couple in front of me loaded up the check-out counter with a week’s worth of heavy, fattening foods. All kinds of sweets, fatty meats, and prepared Italian dishes that had enough fat and calories to clog the Ted Williams tunnel.

As they were emptying their cart, the woman was joking with the cashier that she was going to pull out all her outfits that had an elastic waistband and that would be her attire for the week.

“Once this is gone, it’s back to normal eating,” she told the girl. “We don’t eat this way all the time”.

They then continued to tell the cashier that as hard as they try, they could never lose weight.

Try? Are you kidding me? You just bought enough food to feed an army, explained how you were going to overcome the surge with sweatpants, and you say you try to lose weight?

I am not here to judge, because I like to pound down large quantities of tasty food as well, however, this was a huge lack of self-awareness and realization that your health is in serious jeopardy, and you are a risk factor.

This couple each had a MINIMUM of 30# to lose, and both need a serious lifestyle modification, yet will never get there because they are oblivious to the problem at hand. As a matter of fact, I doubt they even think they have a problem the way they were joking about their state of health and fitness.

The part that bothered me was that they won’t act until it’s too late, or they get a health scare. They were a younger couple, and seemed happy with the way they were conducting themselves, so if they aren’t facing any kind of adversity, they won’t seek help, or try to make any changes.

I would have loved to chime in and offered help, but based on the conversations they were having, they were unaware that they needed help, and would have most likely told me to mind my business. They were totally oblivious that they needed to be on a program for losing weight to achieve better health.

A total lifestyle overhaul that would require more than just cutting out the items that they were purchasing that evening.

Being mean and judgmental is never my intention. I have a strong desire to help everyone that comes to me for advice. I know how to do it, and I know what it takes to do it, however, I can’t help someone that doesn’t realize there is a problem or doesn’t have the desire to make a change.

I try to bite my tongue when I go to my mother’s house. (Sometimes I fail to do so) but after years of frustrating conflict, I try to avoid confrontation, especially when it comes to nutrition.

She tells me she doesn’t buy junk food, yet when I look around her house, I always find cookies, candy, bread, and other processed food in abundance.

(I will admit, she makes good food for me when I go for dinner) She makes meals with grass-fed beef and a few organic ingredients, but still has a variety of chips and other snacks piled high in the kitchen.

She tells me she eats well, yet I witness otherwise. (I know she will read this, and call and yell at me, but I would rather that happen over having a face-to-face discussion). Now I can keep the phone call short, and still go over for an enjoyable dinner smile

I stopped speaking about what I am thinking because she is content with her lifestyle and doesn’t want my advice. At 73, she doesn’t want her “know it all” son telling her how to eat. If she did what I tell her to do, she would be miserable with my food choices. Lacking self-awareness maybe, not wanting to listen to me…. definitely smile

As I said in the beginning, if you want to make changes you need to be self-aware and take inventory of what you are doing wrong and what’s not working. Write down your goals and make an honest assessment.

Then create a list of possible solutions. If it is not in your circle of genius, then get help from a coach. Don’t be afraid to ask and avoid suffering in silence.

If you are content, that’s fine too.

Not everyone wants to make changes to their lifestyle. Many people like my mother are happy with the status quo and have no desire to change, and I have learned to be ok with that.

After years of offering advice, I have learned to hold off until I am asked. I want to help everyone and promote healthy living to all I meet; however, I have come to the realization that not everyone wants to change, and I respect that.

Committed to your success,

Coach Matt



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